Yankees: Gerrit Cole outed as foreign substance user with hilarious text

Yankees ace Gerrit Cole was part of a “bombshell” report, and the way he participated was kind of awk.

For years, it’s been an open secret that current Yankees ace Gerrit Cole, as well as his ex-Astros teammate Justin Verlander and many others, have used a grip enhancer to maintain control of the baseball during cold weather, aiding their spin rate in the process.

It’s not illegal. No one’s ever really cared. Heck, Trevor Bauer made a mockery out of the process by bragging about how he was “holier than thou” in Houston, and then…did it himself during his Cy Young 2020 season.

Frankly, we’ve always heard hitters prefer opposing pitchers use these substances to lower the chances of them being beaned by 100 MPH cheddar.

Nevertheless, that didn’t stop the Los Angeles Times from publishing an exposé on the subject late Thursday night, featuring Cole as its cover boy and headliner, despite the fact that a veritable pile of names were mentioned in the piece, from Verlander and Max Scherzer to King Felix, Corey Kluber, and basically the entire Angels roster.

No, it’s not a big deal that Cole uses the stuff. But it is hilarious just how cornball his “incriminating” evidence really was, and might lead Yankees fans to wonder if their $325 million ace is a flip phone guy.

Dad humor during the pre-dad years? Astonishing.

Other than the pretty 5-out-of-10 attempt at humor here, is there anything Yankees fans should be concerned about? We’re going to go with a resounding no.

Watch any MLB game — you’ve likely noticed this over the years! — and you’ll probably see a pitcher rubbing the bill of his cap. You might even see visible slop sitting on the brim. In the 2018 World Series, David Price tried to celebrate a key strikeout, and his hand stuck to his jersey!

It’s everywhere, and it’s made the game better. It’s just sort of…a tradeoff we’ve all accepted.

That being said, it’s bizarre this fired Angels employee toting an explosive lawsuit has been singled out in any way, considering MLB officials have shrugged through years of hard and visible evidence during game action.

It’s also bizarre that this inflammatory headline (and photo!) singled out Cole when the body of the article features many very prominent names, including recent World Series champions and larger icons in Verlander and Scherzer. Huh.

Maybe it was the text.

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