Yankees: Astros Whining About Being Cheated Out of 2019 World Series by Umpire is Rich

The Houston Astros are crying again about the World Series. Get out your tiny violins, Yankees fans!

Oh no, Yankees fans. You’re going to want to sit down for this one: The Houston Astros don’t believe they got a fair shake in the World Series last year.

The ’19 World Series came down to Game 7 and featured zero wins by the home team, which certainly would raise anyone’s suspicions that perhaps things were, uh, less simplistic at Minute Maid Park than they were in 2017.

This evenly-matched battle went down to the very last game, when a pair of late home runs by Anthony Rendon and Howie Kendrick undid Zack Greinke’s unreasonably dominant first six innings.

Pitching coach Brent Strom is still sour about those late innings, and has gone as far as to use a screenshot of a missed strike call as his computer background in recent months, unable to let it go.

Cry. Me. The Mississippi Goddamned River. Or maybe The Nile. You guys have been great at pointless, feckless The Nile in Houston these past few years.

Seriously, though, I’m very sorry this is eating you alive, Mr. Strom. An umpire making a judgment call on a borderline pitch…I mean, damn. That’s very atypical for baseball, and has certainly not been a component of the game for centuries.

Hey, real quick, while I have you crying on my shoulder: Are you equally consumed by the World Series ring you won by executing the most nefarious cheating scheme in modern (and ancient!) baseball history? What was Jose Altuve doing demanding his chest stay covered, and sprinting to the locker room in the immediate aftermath of his most joyous on-field moment. I just have questions!

While Carlos Correa, Alex Bregman, and the rest of the boys waste their energy vehemently denying one specific outlandish element of their scheme while staying mum on the rest, we hope you really are kept up at night by an umpire’s minute blink, Mr. Strom.

And please bring the same energy with your apology to the rest of the league for your own franchise’s far greater affront to the game.

Oh, and the pitch looked low thanks to Robinson Chirinos’ embarrassingly obvious glove jerk. Maybe your catchers should work on improving the smoothness of their framing skills. Guess that’s just the way the trash can bangs.