Yankees: 100 MLB Commissioner Options Better Than Rob Manfred

Theo Epstein and MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Theo Epstein and MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images) /

Rob Manfred is a bad MLB Commissioner. These 100 people would be better.

If you didn’t hate Rob Manfred before he stumbled to the stage at ESPN and tried to steal a season from the New York Yankees as a limp-wristed negotiation tactic (or an embarrassing admission of failure), then surely you hate him now.

Perhaps it’s impossible to do the bidding of the owners if the owners want you to ruin the game you’re supposed to stand for, but even so, Manfred has done an awful job as a steward for the game. Conversely, he has made the game disappear.

We’d love to replace him and let someone else lead the negotiating to bring the 2020 MLB season back. Therefore, we now present 100 options who would make better commissioners than Rob Manfred.

Which of these 100 commissioners do you endorse, Yankees fans?

1. Bob Costas

2. Labor Lawyer Donald Fehr

3. Joe Torre

4. Jayson Stark

5. Ken Rosenthal

6. Ken Rosenthal’s Bowtie

7. Ken Rosenthal’s Platform Shoes

8. Rob Manfred’s cooler cousin Derek Manfred (he’s from out of town)

9. Max Scherzer

10. Sean Doolittle

11. MadBum

12. Rikk Wilde, the sweaty guy who gave MadBum a truck

13. Willy Wonka (understands the importance of competition)

14. Haley Steinbrenner Swindal

15. Challenger the Eagle

16. Potential Browns GM Condoleezza Rice

17. Freddy Sez

18. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, who is also bad.

19. Bill Burr/Joe Rogan

20. Bill Hader/Seth Rogen

21. Jomboy/Talkin’ Jake

22. Paul O’Neill

23. Kyrie Irving

24. Ronan Tynan

25. The PC Richard & Son Whistle

26. Yankees Ace Gerrit Cole’s Wife Amy (Who Throws Chedd)

27. Yankees Ace Gerrit Cole’s Unborn Child (Who Also Throws Chedd)

28. Wally the Green Monster

29. Wally the Regular Monster

30. Wall-E, the Trash Robot

31. Jeff Probst

32. Richard Hatch

33. A Glowing Brand (knows about growing a brand)

34. (Gulps for 70 full minutes, inhaling a swarm of bees) Fine, Trevor Bauer.

35. Vitruvian Manfred

36. ManFred Willard

37. Bob Manfred. Doesn’t that just…sound like a better leader?

38. Derek Jeter’s Ford Edge

39. The One Hall of Fame Voter Who Didn’t Vote for Derek Jeter

40. Mariano Rivera

41. Tanyon Sturtze

42. Paul Quantrill/Tom Gordon

43. Jeff Nelson/Mike Stanton

44. Cespedes Family BBQ

45. Yoenis Cespedes

46. The Pig He Was BBQing

47. CEO of ’47 Brand

48. Jacob deGrom

49. Jimmy Garoppolo

50. Cent

51-62. The Apostles (Even Judas)

63. Brutus (At least a stab in the back happens quickly)

64-70. Seven men all named “7” after Mickey Mantle

71-78. The Eight Mysterious Nerds Who Ran My AV Club in HS (They Hated Baseball)

79-87. The 1919 Black Sox starting lineup

88. Whoever the Best WR on the Dallas Cowboys is at Any Given Time

89. A Charley Horse That Never Goes Away

90.  A Charley Horse That Goes Away Long Enough for One Face-to-Face Meeting With Tony Clark

91. Dr. Deborah Birx

92. Dr. Anthony Fauci

93. Dr. Literally Any Doctor

94. Two Bud Seligs stacked on each other’s shoulders, trying to sneak into a “No Bud Seligs Allowed” club in a trench coat.

95-100. The Six Owners Who Don’t Even Want Baseball in 2020

At least they have a viewpoint.

Next. Rob Manfred Must Be Fired. dark

So, which person, place, thing, or Rikk Wilde has your vote? Remember, they can’t possibly do worse than the man we’ve got in charge! Sound off in the comments, or through clenched teeth into your pillow!