If You Can’t Get A Ten…


You know that guy in your group that has a little too much frat boy in him for his own good?  He gets too loud when he’s drunk, can’t censor himself in public, and always has an off color maxim to live by, like “if there’s grass on the field, play ball” or “if you can’t get a ten, bang five twos”.  He was right about that last one.

At least when it comes to sports.  Baseball has its own tens and twos; the Red Sox and Dodgers are your hotties, the Nats and the Pirates are your notties (yeah, I used a term from a Paris Hilton straight-to-DVD movie, wanna fight about it?).  Baseball law says that if you can’t beat a ten, you beat up on the twos.  See where I’m going with this?

The Yankees are an eight right now.  If they were in a bar they wouldn’t have a shot at the aspiring actress/model in the VIP section, but they could probably get with somebody from the sorority reunion over by the bartender.  The Yanks can’t quite get it done against the Phillies, and they’re oh-fer against the Red Sox, but they should be able to get it done against the Tigers and Blue Jays.

There’s no question New York should be able to have a team like Washington back at their place before midnight.  It should be a slam dunk.  Done deal.  Easier than picking off the only unmarried chick at a bachelorette party.  Except that the Yankees just dropped two of three, at home, to the Washington Nationals.  As in, the same Nationals team that was on pace to break the Mets record of 120 losses in a season.  Those Nationals.

What is wrong with this club?  They get swept by their arch nemesis in Boston, the Mets gift-wrap a series victory in the Bronx, and then you drop two of three to the f*%@ing Nats??  I hate to agree with Michael Kay, but that was an unacceptable performance.  I don’t care who was pitching, who was out of the lineup; you cannot lose a series to a team that averages over two losses a series!

I know it’s June.  I’m not hitting the panic button.  New York still has the third best record in the American League and would be in the playoffs if the season ended today.  I know this.  However, the Yankees have proven they can’t beat really good pitching, and they certainly can’t beat Boston.  This leaves the mediocre to awful teams, the sevens through twos.  Which means they have to beat those teams.  They have to walk up to the lady, buy her a drink, and close the deal.  No more excuses.

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