My bad

The Yanks lost their first game of the season on Sunday, and it was all my fault.

I went to the first two games and they won both while outscoring Detroit 16-9, I take one game off and they get beat 10-7. For that, I apologize.

Obviously it wasn’t my fault; I’m a self-centered a-hole, but not THAT much of a self-centered a-hole. Phil Hughes deserves some of the blame, he got smacked around in his first start of the 2011 campaign. The young righty yielded five runs, as many hits, two walks and a strikeout while throwing 90 pitches (only 57 for strikes) in just four innings of work. Philthy’s velocity was sitting around 89-90 and he maxed out at 91 (some people are already on the ledge about this). Miggy Cabrera, who owns Phil, belted a pair of two-run taters Sunday and is now 7-14 with three dingers lifetime against the kid.

I’m not too concerned about this showing, Hughes is only 24. He’ll build up arm strength as the season progresses. If this is a recurring theme throughout the year then I’ll sound the alarm, but until then In Hughes I’ll Trust.

Bartolo Colon — also making his first appearance of the season, and first since 2009 as a matter of fact — should take some blame as well. That fat bastard gave up four runs on six hits with five strikeouts to one walk in four frames. He did show some signs of greatness, but he kept giving up runs after the Yanks repeatedly closed the deficit to a run. Much like Hughes, I’m going to wait for a few more appearances before judging Bart, although he doesn’t have as much time to get better because he’s as old as dirt (38 next month).

Joba came in and threw the final inning. He gave up three hits and, in sticking with the theme of the day, a run with a strikeout. However, he did hit 96 on the gun repeatedly.

Jeter didn’t have his best game either. He went 0-for-4 — all groundouts — and failed to get a ball out of the infield, although he did draw a walk. He’s 2-for-10 on the young season with two total bases. It also looked like someone filled his cleats with cement…Michael Kay sounded like a broken record with “past a diving Jeter.” The next four years are going to be brutal if we have to watch this BS day in and day out.

Gardy hasn’t exactly hit the ground running in the leadoff spot. The speedster is 2-for-12 with no walks, five strikeouts and just one stolen base after going 0-for-5 with three strikeouts Sunday

It wasn’t all bad, though. There were many positives to take away from the loss:

• Mark Teixeira slugged his third home run of the year and became the first Yankee to homer in the first three games of the season since Dave Winfield did it in 1983. Last season, he didn’t record his third home run until game 29 — his three-homer game against Boston on May 8.
• Posada hit a pair of two-run home runs, notching his 17th career multi-homer game and first as a DH.
• Russell Martin went 3-for-4 Sunday and is now 5-for-11 to begin his tenure in pinstripes. He also had that awesome steal of third base in the opener, which was awesome.
• A-Rod went 1-for-5 but was hitting rockets, so he’s making good contact.
• Swish Dog went 3-for-3 with two runs, two walks and an RBI.
• The Yanks set a team record with nine home runs through their first three games of the season.
• Even though the pitching staff kept giving up runs, the offense didn’t lay down. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Most importantly, the Red Sox starting pitching this weekend went 15 1/3 innings and was touched for 21 hits and 18 earned runs, including nine homers, for a 10.57 ERA. FIVE ACES!!!!1!!!11!!!!1

The Yanks (2-1) are back in action tomorrow at 7:05 as they welcome the Twinkies (1-2) to The Stadium for a four-game set. SuperNova will take the mound against Scott Baker in the opener.

LET’S GO YANKS!!!!!!!