How long until Strasburg reaches free agency?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Yanks smoked the O’s 12-7, but sweet merciful crap Stephen Strasburg looked like Cy Young out there tonight.

I realize it was just the Pirates, but you can’t take anything away from that 14K/0BB, 7IP, 4H, 2R, 100MPH-hitting debut of Stephen James Strasburg. He threw 94 pitches — with 65 going for strikes. That was unreal. The only mistake he made was a two-run homer to Delwyn Young. According to Buster Olney, Steph became the first pitcher ever to strike out 14 batters in a zero-walk debut. According to Michael Kay, JP Richard holds the record with 15Ks in his 1971 debut with the Astros (JP Dick walked three). Welcome to the big leagues, Stephen.

"The only thing I really remember was the first pitch — it was a ball inside. Everything else was just such a blur. At one point I lost track of how many innings I threw. I was like, I’m just going to go out there and have fun."

I apologize for straying from the Yanks, please forgive me for I know not what I do.

Oh, and you’re welcome for the 3-for-4, 2-R HR, 2BB performance from Tex. It was nothing, just glad I could do my part. Marky Mark really gave O’s fans reason to Boo Teixeira.

"Anytime you help your team win it feels good. It’s all about winning games here…Hitting is an aggressive act, so you want to swing at pitches and do damage. When you swing at bad pitches you’re not helping anybody…In all honesty, though, I really have to give a lot of credit to Andrew Corselli at Yanksgoyard.com for helping me get back on track, he’s got a huge cock. He can come over to my house and fuck my sister anytime he wants."

OK, Tex really didn’t say those last two sentences. OR DID HE? No. No, he didn’t.

The whole team looked good, except for A-Rod (who went 0-for-5 and was the only starter to not reach base) and Chad Gaudin, who almost blew a nine-run lead. Calling Gaudin a piece of shit is an insult to fecal matter; he damn near turned a 12-3 game into a save situation. For that matter, how does someone who looks like this tap a broad who looks like this? I would rather roll around on broken glass with Magic Johnson than see Chad Gaudin come into another Yankee game. DFA Gaudin post haste.

D-Rob threw a scoreless seventh and fanned a pair of batters for his first Ks since May 20 (five appearances ago).

Swish Dog stayed hot (3-for-6, missed the cycle by a triple, 5 RBI) and is now hitting .357 over the last 13 games, with just three hitless games over that span and seven of those games coming with multiple hits. Cano stayed hotter (3-for-4, scored twice) and is now hitting .370…for the year. The “lazy” Cano has hit in 21 of the last 24 games while recording just seven one-hit games over that span. Can you say MVP? Grandy got in on the action with a grand(y) slam (second career salami) as the Yanks recorded 15 hits.

Swish Dog:

"Just trying to be consistent. I’m just trying to go out there and put a good swing on it. Every time the bat leaves my shoulder I want to put a good swing on it…For me, I’m just going out there, man, and having a blast and just really enjoying my time."

Phil Hughes, facing the O’s for the second time in as many starts, allowed a season-high nine hits (none of which went for extra bases though) but didn’t walk anybody for the first time this season for a line of three runs in six innings with four Ks. It wasn’t his best game but it was solid nonetheless, and he moved to 8-1 with the victory.

"If I was to evaluate myself without even knowing how many runs I gave up, the pitches I made, I feel like I shouldn’t have won this game. But I was able to battle as much as I could…It’s great when you do get those cheap ones sometimes. Where you don’t feel good, your stuff isn’t good but you’re ready to go out there and not get rocked. We’ll take it as much as we can."

For a change there was some injury news for the Yanks. Apparently Gardner left the game in the seventh with pain in his left thumb. Girardi said the pain has occurred “20 times since last year” when Gardy broke the thumb. Well, maybe he should keep it out of his ass more often. Just kidding Gardner, I love you.

"Whenever I get jammed or sometimes when I check swing I feel it. It always goes away but tonight it was a little different. I just wanted to mention something to (Girardi), better to be safe than sorry."

The Yanks, who lead the season series 9-1, will have CC going against Chris Tillman tomorrow. LET’S GO YANKS!!!