Yankees Five Reasons To Start Aaron Hicks Over Aaron Judge
By Cory Claus
Reason Number Two: The Tangibles
The most obvious reasons that Aaron Hicks deserves to win the job in right are his intensity on the field and the numbers he has put up throughout his career. Whether he is staring down a 97-MPH throwing gunslinger or coming through in a clutch situation, Hicks is clearly rising up and the Yankees have a budding star on their hands!
I am sorry, but that joke never gets old. I just had to use it one more time; hilarious stuff. It just feels good to laugh. Back to the real reasons.
So, on to the Number One Reason…
Aaron Hicks Sold his Soul to the Devil!
Alright, Yankees haters, feel free to insert your jokes here:
And clearly he has to serve his time at the home office;
Was he the player to be named later in a separate deal between the Yankees and the Devil?;
“Devil Corp.” is a subsidiary of Yankees Inc.;
Isn’t that how all Yankees get to be successful?
There is only one big problem with this scenario. Some of you might think that Hicks would have better numbers had he sold his immortal soul. That turns out to be very easy to explain: there is only so much even the Devil can do to make Hicks a good player.
Signing the standard Soul-to-the-Devil contract for becoming a Yankees player is like taking steroids. It can help in many important ways but cannot turn just anyone into a great Yankees player. Just ask Danny Tartabull; it was his contract I used as research for this article.
Related Story: See Which Yankees are Winning Positions; Just Don't Look for Hicks in this Article
Okay, this last one might seem a bit far fetched. But no more so than the story that started this piffle of a piece, that Aaron Hicks might get the right fielders position over Aaron Judge. I don’t believe that story and you should not believe this one.
But if it does come to pass, if the impossible becomes reality, well, we might just have to revisit some of these reasons. The only logical conclusion will be that one of them is correct. I hope it turns out to be that Hicks has a compromising video; seeing Hal show a human emotion is on my bucket list.