Prediction #1: There will be a lot of people in the stadium, of which some will be inebriated, of which some will defile the new stadium with vomit. Grandmothers across the world that still have the plastic covers on their furniture will feel the echoing pain universally.

Prediction #2: There will be many exclamations and profanities uttered and/or yelled in regards to the price of food and drink, which normally wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary, but it’s so bad that many a rich people will think of how they can sneak in food the next time they come to the stadium like us ghetto folk. Tip: Say you’re on a special medical diet and you can’t eat the park food… it works.

Prediction #3: When Yogi Berra goes to throw the ceremonial first pitch, many people in the crowd, watching on television or though their computers, and listening to the ceremony will sadistically and secretly hope that Yogi falls down on his follow through. Why? Because old people falling over is comedy gold.

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When you go to Yankees Stadium to take in a game, there are a few things you can be guaranteed of – 1) the Bleacher Creatures rule 2) the price for food and beverages will make even millionaires go, “DAMN! Is that really the price?!?!?!” and 3) Bob Sheppard will make your baseball experience feel authentic. Sheppard, the Yankees public address announcer since April 17, 1951 and who has called out the Yankees starting lineup that included such names as Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle, Thurman Munson, and Derek Jeter will miss Opening Day at the new Yankees Stadium due to a bronchial infection. Sheppard missed announcing all of last season and is 98 years old, but is determined to come back sometime this season. Reggie Jackson nicknamed Sheppard, “the voice of God” and let’s hope the new stadium will be blessed with Sheppard’s voice soon.