Prediction #1: There will be a lot of people in the stadium, of which some will be inebriated, of which some will defile the new stadium with vomit. Grandmothers across the world that still have the plastic covers on their furniture will feel the echoing pain universally.

Prediction #2: There will be many exclamations and profanities uttered and/or yelled in regards to the price of food and drink, which normally wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary, but it’s so bad that many a rich people will think of how they can sneak in food the next time they come to the stadium like us ghetto folk. Tip: Say you’re on a special medical diet and you can’t eat the park food… it works.

Prediction #3: When Yogi Berra goes to throw the ceremonial first pitch, many people in the crowd, watching on television or though their computers, and listening to the ceremony will sadistically and secretly hope that Yogi falls down on his follow through. Why? Because old people falling over is comedy gold.

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