Yankees: Judge to take “official” oath of office for District 99

The Yankees unofficially announced today that the judge for District 99 in the Bronx will take his oath of office on the field as part of Father’s Day ceremony. Here are a few of the unreleased details.

The Yankees unofficially announced that it is time for Aaron Judge to take his oath of office, confirming his appointment as a Senior Judge for District 99 in the Bronx.

The ceremony will be held on Father’s Day and will feature the Gang of Twelve from New Jersey who recently purchased robes and British wigs to honor the Yankees star right-fielder. The boys will sing the National Anthem before the start of the game and then take their proper seats with the Bleacher Creatures.

As of today, the team is undecided between Dave Kingman, Frank Howard, and Wilt Chamberlain for the honor of throwing out the first pitch.

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The oath of office is still being finalized, but I was able to uncover this much as to its content. Parts of the oath will read:

****I do solemnly swear that I will not make Matt Harvey my text buddy, nor will I emulate his immature behavior.

****I do solemnly swear that I will not cause the Yankees any grief when my arbitration years arrive.

****I do solemnly swear that I will not follow in the footsteps of former Yankees great, Dave Winfield, by killing a bird with my rifle arm like he did back in 1983.

****I do solemnly swear that I will use my height to best advantage by scaling the wall to snatch the ball from Jeffrey Maier’s glove if he ever shows up for a game again.

****I do solemnly swear that I will not attack my manager in the dugout like Reggie Jackson did with Billy Martin. And I further swear that I will hustle on every play, unlike Jackson on that fateful day.

****I do solemnly swear that I don’t want anything to do with being the Captain of the Yankees at some time in the future. Give it to Gary Sanchez; he can have it.

****I do solemnly swear that I will not attempt to conduct a heist that empties the treasury of the Yankees like Bryce Harper seems bent on doing in Washington when my time comes.

****I do solemnly swear to pay for the cost of replacing the clock in center field at the tippy top of the facade when I smash the hell out of it, just for the helluva of it, on a pitch one day.

****I do solemnly swear that I will not change my jersey number to -2, forcing all those people who bought my 99 to do it all over again and to force the Yankees to consider the possibility of creating negative numbers to retire, since they’re quickly running out of numbers now.

Yankees Aaron Judge Already Impacting Mickey Mantle’s Legacy

He didn’t just inspire his Yankees teammates and lift up his team. No, he inspired the fans and lifted them up by their souls.

As I said, this is a work in progress and Yanks Go Yard is opening it up for all fans to contribute by adding additional text for the oath of office.

With Mother’s Day gone now, the Yankees have another holiday coming up that they need to sell. Hey, all I’m trying to do is help them.