Have you ever wondered what agida is?

If so, you didn’t watch Monday’s Yanks-Sox game.

The 11-9 triumph went from blowout to nail-biter to bitter Sox win to walk-off Yanks victory, with a ton of bullpen failures mixed in. Ho. Ly. Shit. Never has an ugly win looked so pretty. Two swings of the bat turned that game from the worst loss of the season to the best win ever…I live for this.

In case you missed it or shut it off early (in either case I hate you), A-Rod and Marcus Thames each hit a two-run bomb off Crapelbon in the ninth to give the Good Guys their fourth win in six tries.

A-Rod:

"That’s the feeling we had all of last year; no matter what we feel like we have a chance to win every game at home. We like playing here. Until the last out is collected we feel like we’re going to win the game."

Thames:

"It was great, I was just happy to get a pitch and drive it. I haven’t been hitting the ball hard all season, I did some stuff in the cage today. I didn’t chase anything in that last at-bat and it paid off for me…He left one right in my wheelhouse and I didn’t miss it."

However, the Injuns couldn’t hold on and fell to the Rays 4-3 in 11 innings, so the Yanks are still two games behind TB for top spot in the AL East. What makes this win so much more awesome is that Papsmear had converted 22 save opportunities in a row prior to this bed-shit, and he hadn’t allowed a homer to a righty all season (18 1/3 innings) before the pair in the ninth. Ladies and gentlemen, run prevention.

Pap:

"Poorly executed pitches on my behalf. When you don’t execute your pitch the way you want to…ususally in that situation bad things happen and, as you saw tonight, bad things happened."

Phil Hughes, though, came back down to earth, giving up five runs on six hits with three strikeouts to one walk in five frames to see his ERA “skyrocket” to 2.25. He also yielded his first homer (two on the night) since April 15th (Hideki Matsui).

Boone Logan and CHoP (who was activated off the DL prior to the game) came in and both choked on a fat cock, but the offense eventually bailed them out and we got our first taste of pie on the season. Marte then retired five batters but got into a first and third jam before Javy was brought in — with two outs in the top of ninth down by two runs, mind you — to save the day. Javy retired Youkilis on four pitches to pick up the win. The hilarity factor in that works two-fold. First, Javy gave up just two runs on five hits with seven punchouts to two walks over seven innings last week in Detroit to take a loss, but Monday he tossed four pitches and got a win. Next, on a day when he was mysteriously scratched from his start he wound up getting the win in relief. To steal a line from John Sterling, “You just can’t predict baseball.”

"Baseball is a funny game. Getting a win as a reliever in one at-bat is funny…I’m expecting to go Friday, I threw less pitches (on Monday) than an actual bullpen (session)."

Lost among the walkoff theatrics was Derek Jeter scoring his 1,600th career run, although he did swing at ball four twice en route to a inning-ending strikeout in the eighth inning. Also, the Yanks roughed up Dice-K for five runs in the first inning, with the first seven batters of the game notching either a run or an RBI. Plus, every starter for the Yanks had at least one hit…yet they still had to mount a walk off, which is kind of depressing.

It turns out Swish Dog is still bothered by his left biceps, and we now know why Georgie was out of lineup. However it might have been for the best that Swisher was not playing, if you believe in the (please pardon my Kay-ism here) fallacy of the predetermined outcome.

Girardi:

"If Swish was available Marcus probably wouldn’t have been in the game."

In honor of Thames’ walk off herocis, I link to you this classic.

The time of game was 3:47, as Joe West weeps somewhere. Despite the length, if he thought this game was a disgrace to baseball he should kill himself. That was an instant classic.

These two teams will be back at it on Tuesday, weather permitting, with CC going against Josh Beckett.