27

Ladies and gentlemen, order has been restored to the universe. The New York Yankees are once again World Series champions. Congratulations to the Bronx Bombers for bringing home yet another title and furthering the franchise’s illustrious history!

How weird was that when the Philadelphia Phillies were the world champs? I’m glad that’s over and done with. Let’s hope that’s a chapter of history we never have to repeat. I shudder just thinking about it.

Pettitte was solid and Matsui was huge as the Yanks beat the Pills 7-3 Wednesday to notch the club’s 27th title. Godzilla was also awarded the MVP, blah, blah, blah you know the rest. Here are some random thoughts from the game:

• Jeter is absurd. Every time you watch him play keep in mind you’re watching a living legend. We’re going to be talking about him in 25-30 years like we do Mantle, DiMaggio and Gehrig now.
• The Yanks better re-sign Matsui and let Damon go. I’ve been saying it for a while now, keep the Jap and let the hippie go. Long live Matsui, let the Idiot walk.
• Pettitte will definitely have his number retired by the Yanks. Which begs the question, how many of the current Yanks will one day arrive in Monument Park? Jeter? Check. Posada? You would think so. Mo? No question. And Pettitte has to (you could make the argument for a few others). He’s got the most postseason wins in MLB history, he’s been a cornerstone with the pitching staff and he’s Andy f’ing Pettitte…These Yankee teams are ones for the ages.
• Joba was pretty good, but Marte was ON POINT. He shut down Utley and Howard and provided the bridge to Mo. Heck of an outing for Damaso. Obviously, Mo was his usual unhittable self.
• Could Joe Buck have been pulling for the Phils any more than he was? He was ragging on the Yanks’ salary in the 6th inning and trying to jinx Marte  with the one HR all year to a lefty thing. Plus, all series he seemed to be on Philly’s side with his reactions and tone of voice. Eat a dick Joe Buck; you suck.
• The umpiring was still atrocious.

Two of the most groin-grabbingly good quotes to hear if you’re a Yankees fan:

Jeter (clutching the WS trophy): “This is right back where it belongs.” This is how you want Yankees to speak and act, like winning champinoships is par for the course. Jeter is The Man. He always does and says the right things, plus he’s clutch as a motherfucker. Anybody who says Jeter is overrated should get their fucking head examined. His 175 postseason hits speak for themselves. It will be a sad, sad day when No. 2 isn’t playing shortstop in the Bronx.

Mo: “I was thinking about retiring but I think I’m gunna stay for another five years.” No chance it actually happens, but imagine five more years of “Enter Sandman” playing in the stadium. Wow.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEW YORK YANKEES ON WINNING THE 2009 WORLD SERIES. LET’S HOPE THIS IS THE FIRST OF A NEW DYNASTY!!!!